I am the Lizard King. I can do Anything.

What if Jim Morrison had faked his death? I know, I know... here I am jumping on the conspiracy bandwagon yet again.

But honestly, isn't the idea more than a little intriguing? I'd love to think that's what happened. Jim just said "Fuck it all!" and hashed out a crazy scheme. I read he was soon going to serve a six month sentence doing hard time. He had numerous paternity suits and other claims of baby Morrison's on the way - which is in no way hard to believe considering his lifestyle. Those two reasons alone would make anyone want to either kill themselves or just vanish. Jim even joked about faking his death. Ray Manzarek of The Doors once said if anyone were to pull of such a feat it would be Jim.

The only two people who (we know of) that saw the body of Jim Morrison are said to be his girlfriend, Pam Courson, who allegedly found him in the bathtub of their Paris apartment, and some French doctor that wasn't even licensed to practice in France. He signed the death certificate sighting heart failure as the cause of death. No autopsy was ever performed. The coffin (the cheapest pine box available at the cemetary) was purchased by Pam and was immediately sealed shut for a funeral of sorts including Pam and a few other people, none of which were the remaining three members of The Doors. The family was not even notified until days later.

There were a few accounts of witnesses saying they saw Jim Morrison saying goodbye to Pam at an airport just one day before his "death". Jim was also said to be at the Pere la Chaise Cemetary just one week prior to his alleged death. He even picked out his own plot!

Now to prove I'm not entirely crazy here is information that just doesn't jive with this theory. Though tumultuous, I truly believe Pam and Jim truly loved each other. Sure there was a lot of infidelity... A LOT! But it was the sixties, wasn't it a drug induced fuck-fest free for all?

Back to my question. If Pam were "in on it" then why did she die from a heroin overdose three years later? From things I've read it seems Pam just never recovered from Jim's death and spiraled out of control ultimately suffering her own sad and lonely death. Her death was not a hoax. It would be romantic to think otherwise. That it was all part of Jim's big plan. For Pam to just deal with his death her way with drugs and alcohol but really waiting for her chance to escape with Jim.

But then again, maybe he didn't want anyone. She knew the truth... she couldn't handle it and she wanted out. End of story.
I'm arguing with myself here... brilliant!

I want to believe it, I want it so badly to be true. The "Jim sightings" are as lame as they come. A business man living in Louisianna? A horse breeder in Oregon? I don't know. Then there is the infamous ghost photo. I do love a great ghost photo and this one is just beautifully eerie.

I watched a documentary last night. It's called "When You're Strange". Johnny Depp narrated it which was a cool little bonus. I really enjoyed it. It was full of photos and footage I have never seen before. It also had nearly constant music in the background. And not weird instrumental grocery store versions of their songs like some documentaries have. It was live, raw and uncut. It also had all these clips seemingly of Jim but weird first person shit I couldn't understand. I kept saying "WOW! That actor looks just like Jim!!" I couldn't get over it. In my mind there was no way this could be footage from something else it just fit too perfectly into the movie. Then through hours of reading blogs and articles and going through youtube videos I stumbled across the director, Tim Dicillo's own blog and read a bunch of which he wrote during the showing of the film at Sundance. Apparently I wasn't the only one thrown. The way he compiles it makes it look as though the news is just learning of his death as he is parading around the desert then hitchhiking, getting a ride then suddenly the driver. I was so confused.

Back in 1969 Jim Morrison made a film called HWY, it has not been widely viewed. I watched about ten minutes worth and became quite bored actually. But THAT was the footage used in Dicillo's documentary and it works so well! It truly is an amazing film about one of the most fascinating men who ever walked the earth. Watch it!

Well, we will probably never know the truth. Where would the fascination be if we did, the sheer romanticism of the idea? We're better off in the dark.

Winning! Yes kids, he IS the craziest sunofabitch on the planet, but we love him anyway.

So how much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men. Wha wha wha... I keed. I keed. Well, sort of.

I have mixed feelings about the machete weilding, tiger blood drinking warlock. This whole Charlie Sheen thing has been the craziest media frenzy I have ever seen. I am one of those one million sheep who followed him on Twitter as soon as I heard he'd started "tweeting" his rampage. I find myself constantly refreshing my People.com page just to see if there might be anymore Charlie news. I need a twenty four hour Charlie ticker. With all of the terrible things going on in the world right now... this is most important. Charlie knows this, he feeds off of it, he lives it. Frankly, I'm much more interested in his antics than anything going on in the middle east. Shallow and narrow minded? Yes, but how am I any different from the rest of the herd. Don't you wish you had tigerblood and Adonis DNA? I sure as hell do!

I have always been a huge Charlie Sheen fan. I don't recall the first thing I ever saw him in, but, thinking back my mind keeps going to his bit in "Ferris Buellers Day Off". Even at seven, I knew this guy was super hot and would always be around. He's one of those guys who even when he's not doing anything, he's massively famous. Problem is, now we have a 45 year old brat on our hands.

Now, being that we are living in the techno age, Charlie has his very own media via personal webcasting, twitter updates, etc. He even texts his own quotes to People.com. They must be on red Charlie alert. (like that?) Apparently he has no PR, someone to tell him he's coasting into the stratosphere with his off the wall comments. Now, of course I don't know the truth behind all of this. What is real and what is fabricated. Charlie being Charlie or just what the media wants us to see of his antics. This morning, an article quoted Charlie talking about his co-star (and who I always wanted to believe... friend) Jon Cryer, calling him a "troll" and a "turncoat". Also siting that he never called him during all of this so when Charlie is put up for a multi million dollar role and Cryer wants a supporting role he won't do it. Now this just pisses me off. It's petty and childish to say something like that. Come on now.

Now as far as rumors go of Rob Lowe or (gag me) John Stamos taking over the lead role on "Men", I want to know is this as a new character or for the role of Charlie Harper? It sooo won't work. I mean when Charlie took over for Michael J. Fox on "Spin City" he got his own role and it actually worked...well. I'm not so sure this time. I like Rob Lowe and John Stamos well, he's ok. I really like him in Glee and as Uncle Jessie but other than that, he kind of creeps me out. I digress, "Two and a Half Men" cannot be changed so drastically during the ninth freakin' season. It just won't work.

I'll continue to be a Charlie fan. I like the guy. He's crazy and more than a little narcisistic. But didn't we help make him that way?

Girl Power

For me, when I think of the song "Cherry Bomb" my brain automatically gears towards the movie "Dazed and Confused". Moreso the soundtrack. What an anthem! For a teenage girl riddled with hormones, angst and curiosity this song packs a punch. Colleen was, and still is, one of my best friends. This song brings back great memories of rockin' out in her blue Suburu... or the Bubaru as we called it.

I remember, vividly,singing along "Hello Daddy, Hello Mom, I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch CHERRY BOMB!"

A lot of these memories resurfaced last night when I watched the Indie film "The Runaways" starring Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning. They both play the teenage versions of Joan Jett and Cherie Currie, two of the founding members of the all girl rock and roll band of the 70's.

I consider myself semi savvy when it comes to musical knowledge -- nowhere near my brothers expansive knowledge on the subject -- but then again he couldn't tell you even ten of the top forty hits. He's just not that guy. Though he could tell you who plays what instrument on whatever album by whoever, pre 1994 that is. I think with the death of Kurt Cobain, Bob felt nothing good could or would ever come from the music scene again.

I digress... I, of course, knew who Joan Jett was. "I love Rock 'n Roll" and her version of "Crimson and Clover" are ranked up there with some of my favorites. However, I really knew nothing about these power rockers who changed the world of music... really they did. When did you see an ensemble of five girls with so much agression (both sexual and violent) before The Runaways? Although the idea of five teenagers out on the road consuming massive amounts of drugs and alcohol -- not to mention a lot of sex -- is slightly unnerving to watch. I remember being that age though and it was - though harsh - quite true. At fifteen I had already been a smoker for over a year. I was a habitual pot smoker as well and by the next year I'd experimented with other drugs. The really hardcore stuff didn't come until later. (Thanks college!!) If I had been a rock star I would have taken the same path as these girls did. Who knows where I would be today. More than likely a member of the twenty seven club.

There was truth to this movie, the acting was actually very good. I was worried that Kristen Stewart would play Joan Jett as an angry Bella... but alas, the girl can actually act. I forgot about Bella Swan within the first few minutes of her entrance. She played a wicked Joan Jett, seriously hard core. She dropped F bombs like nobody's business and it was natural! Maybe Kristen Stewart really is a badass.

Being the Twi freak that I am knowing Dakota and Kristen were in this together was another draw. I was in no way expecting to see them make out. But it wasn't weird -- that is until I thought to myself with a chuckle "tee hee hee, Bella and Jane are totally making out... I wonder if the Volturi know about this?" -- Yes, I'm queer to the nth degree - but that's just who I am.

Oh to be back in the Bubaru, screaming out our rage along with our foresisters. Thank you Runaways for making me realize I wasn't the only teen with anger issues. Thank you for being who you were and continue to be who you are.

LOST and found

Well, almost a year later than everyone else, I made it to the series finale of LOST. It was really hard getting information about the show without finding out the ending, but I sort of did it.

Around season four I accidentally stumbled upon an article stating that the survivors were actually dead all along. Though super upset by this ... not so much the information but the fact that I'd been "spoiled" by the outcome, I just kind of waited for it. Much like the death of Charlie in season three... I knew it was going to happen, I just had to brace myself for it.

Now, having finished it and knowing that wasn't the case at all, I think the ending was fantastic! I'm actually happy I read so many blogs and articles saying how badly they thought it ended. My answer to them is "apparently you didn't get it." I am sorry for that. Yeah, there are questions left unanswered but that's ok. Nothing huge was left open ended. That of course is my opinion and many many many people will tirelessly disagree.

OK OK -- so I do have a few minor gripes. I think one of my biggest nit picks about the ending was if Sayid spent his life trying to be with Nadia... why would Shannon end up being his soulmate? Sure they had a little island romance and for the sake of the storyline it did work. Is it because it was Jack's interpretation? Because he never knew Nadia but he knew Shannon? I don't like that answer either though because Jack wasn't even around when Hurley and Boone orchestrated the little fight scene that had Sayid and Shannon "find eachother". Honestly, if that's my biggest gripe... the show ended damn near perfectly.

I never understood the whole alternate universe thing and finding out that it was a sort of limbo for everyone to find eachother and move on was, for me, easier to grasp than any other answer would have been. I loved it. My husband did not and was confused and annnoyed. Even after I explained as best I could my own personal interpretation he still felt it was, and I quote, "Crap". Oh well... sucks being an athiest, huh?

Being the nerd that I am, I had to go and buy the official LOST Encyclopedia. I am reading it cover to cover, word for word, illustration by illustration. "I have looked into the eye of this island and what I saw... was beautiful".
For those of you who would like a little more Lost to gnaw on, this book is great at answering some questions about those who left the island and survived. For example, I learned that a seventeen year old distraught and confused Walt ends up at the Santa Rosa mental facility and soon after is brought back to the island by Hurley to be in the place where he should be. I like that, Walt was left with no one and no answers.

Hmmm, that does bring me to an unanswered question though, what were his special powers? Is he meant to work for Hurley and Ben and use his special gift in some way? OK, I do have questions, how could I not? Only, I'm satisfied with that. There are too many people that are / were seriously pissed off and felt as if they were cheated and wasted six years of their lives. That is absurd. It could be so much worse. Imagine ending up in 1977!? Working for Dharma!? OK -- that would be kinda cool.

Take it or leave it - the show is over what we know is what we know. We are free to come up with our own answers and interpretations. Have fun with it. I do. I've actually gone back to the beginning. It's fun to watch again after knowing what I know. I am able to pick up on so many little details I definitely would have overlooked the first time around.

Yeah, I'm pretty sad it's over though. I'm in search for my new "Lost", so far to no avail. I don't know if I'll ever find anything that captured my heart (and attention span) as much as this show. Candidates? Even when thinking of newer things, Lost references are constantly on the brain. sheesh.

I wonder how hard it is to get stranded on an island these days? Just let me pack a few things... I'm on my way!

Totally LOST

OK - I realize that I am a little behind but LOST is the most awesomest show... ever! When I first received my Netflix subscription the first thing I watched was Heroes Season 3. I was so blown away by the first two seasons of course I wanted to continue. Well, unfortunately as we all know Heroes fell flat on it's face. Cancel the show... save the world. I needed something fresh, something new... something that had several seasons available for streaming.

My previous knowledge of Lost had been basic. Plane crash, a bunch of people stranded on an island, the hot guy from Party of Five, the fat guy who I couldn't understand was fat for years while being apparently trapped on an island. I had no idea about the paranormal or mystery aspect of the show. Nothing.

The first episode had me completely entranced. The effects and emotions keep you constantly on the edge of your seat. I also remember thinking "Hey, it's Matt Parkman (the mind reading guy from Heroes) he's the pilot. Cool! Whoa! Holy crap, what just happened? Wait? He's dead? That was quick."

Hubby and I flew through the first three seasons. For whatever reason we switched gears and 'Lost' was on indefinite hiatus. I think "Dexter" took over at that point. So flash forward to about two weeks ago. I don't remember what it was that had me yearning to be back on the island (ironic considering that was the plot when I got back into the show), but I just had to.

Now here I am, about 7 episodes from the highly anticipated (though from what I've heard... dissapointing) series finale. I am so incredibly anxious to find out as much as I can but trying just as hard not to be spoiled. The show is just the biggest mind fuck. I love it. I love the element of surprise. Just when you think you might just have something figured out.. someone crawls out of the woodwork that just throws your entire hypothesis out the window.

It's sick, Lost is seriously all I think about. I dream about it for fucks sake. Damn island!

The book blah's...

Here it is first day of autumn and I failed to reach my goal of completing 'The Stand'. It was not a solid goal, just one I thought I could easily achieve. The reason... boredom... speedier bathroom time... other books caught my interest... oh, yeah and LIFE happens.

I love Stephen Kings writing, it is wonderful and well thought out. His characters and their developments are fantastic. But, alas Mr. King, your writing tends to get very long winded. I have so many books of his I want to read, but then find myself chagrined by their length. It's just that it's quite a commitment of my precious time and parts of his books drag and I get bored. I still have half of 'The Stand' left. I don't know when I'll get back to it.

I had to put Sookie on the back burner as well. I started book eight around May-ish. Then 'True Blood' Season three started and that was the end of that. Now the season over :( (and wow, that was fast! Summer is really over, isn't it?) I think the books were feeling a bit stale. I'm going to hold out on those until I really need a fix.

The House of Night series became a new passion. I didn't fall in love with these like I did Twilight, not even close. BUT, I really do like the idea and now that I'm seven deep into the series, there is a lot more plot and backbone. The story lines have gotten a bit more in depth. I was getting a little annoyed with the teenage back chatter. I'm almost embarrassed to read all this YA stuff.

I feel like I'm in a book rut. I want out of the YA book trap. I want more. Nothing since 'The Gargoyle' has really gotten to me on such a deep level. I need something...wait for it...LEGENDARY!

Bathroom Reading... Let's talk about that, shall we?

What started as commonly as doing laundry, I started reading Steven King's "The Stand". I started reading it in the bathroom. I know this because most books I start are in there, a lifelong habit started by my grandmother while potty training. I've moved on from my counting book and have since added quite a few classics to my repertoire of bathroom reading.

I have read entire books... in the bathroom. Not in one sitting, mind you. No pun intended. I read an average of five different books at a time. I keep one at work, one next to the bed, one in the living room, one in my purse... and one in the bathroom.

I started "The Stand" three months ago and have managed to digest over 400 pages of its beefy 1100 plus pages. I think I can finish it by the end of the summer at this pace. Not bad! Some people don't finish it in a year. I will have it read in half that time... in the bathroom!

Now, in my defense I am a pretty fast reader and, apparently, a lot faster than my colon. I don't know if I should be proud of these accomplishments, but in some weird (very weird) way, I am. Forget magazines and newspapers... small time. I'm on to novels.

My consummations aren't so widely received by those in my tight circle. It is a habit not understood by those nearest and dearest, yet, other than my husband, they all knew my grandmother was the same way... only she did 'circle a word' puzzles.

Other than just habit, I think a lot of it has to do with the privacy. I could go in the bathroom at any time and it was the one place I wouldn't be disturbed... until I had my son of course. Occasionally, you'd hear a voice on the other side of the door, wondering if I'd "fallen in". Most people answer "be right out." I finish that sentence "...after this chapter."

What's "gross" about it? I mean everybody poops. Why not have something to do while you're doing it. I mean really, if I don't have a book, I find myself looking for images in the tiles. You have to do something. Then there are those who say "I just go in and do what I have to do and get out." I say to that... well how nice for you to have the ability to take care of business in such a speedy manner. Others need some coaxing.

In conclusion, there was no need for me to share this, but a goal is a goal. I will finish Steven King's full unedited version of "The Stand" and I am going to do it all in the bathroom before summers end.

Bueller Me...

I'm 30. I made it. I'm okay with it too. I think. It's weird though. It is. Different.

The most surreal thing about it is the sheer realization of just how fast life truly passes you by. It's no big news that I'm a movie junkie and some of my greatest memories are wrapped in some of my favorites.

Since we are on the subject of birthdays, Sixteen Candles comes to mind. This Hughes classic came out in 1984. I was four. Like most movies of this time, I watched it for the first time at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Home Box Office was THE SHIT then, what's Netflix?

To a five year old, sixteen seems forever away. Samantha always seemed so much older to me. Now, I'm 30...that movie is 26 years old! My brother is 26!

I need to do more with my life. Make memories, have more experiences. I need to take a day off, see a game, go to a museum, get snooty with a maitre d. Maybe even sing Twist & Shout on a big float during a parade.

Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Twi FREAK

So here I am lost once again in the fantastic world of Twilight. I'm on book four, Breaking Dawn... Charlie is on his way over to the Cullen house to see his newly vamped daughter and grandaughter Nessie... meal time. HAHA... it's not that sort of book. I for one enjoy a happy ending... one where none of the good guys die or are hurt and everyone lives peacefully and happily ever after... well, until the Volturi show up.

I'm in full out Vampire mode again. I'm on book 8 of the Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire series as well. Sookie is awesome. I would actually prefer to be more like her than Bella. Though, I have a better shot as Bella, considering the clumsiness and crying spells. I would be a sweet ass vampire, though I think all the cool powers have been spoken for. Mine will be lame, like knowing the bleak futures of B list actors.

I'll Follow the Sun

I'm in a really good mood today. I have no idea why. Maybe it's the rain, maybe I had a really relaxing weekend. Maybe it's because Tom and I went two whole days without wanting to kill each other. I don't know.

About an hour has passed since I wrote that little bit above and in that time I found out I got a 2K raise! I'll take it... :)
How's that for a cake topper!

Twenty four days or so until the move. The raise couldn't have come at a better time. I can't wait to move. I can't even say that there is so much to do anymore. Tom has been a machine, most everything is packed. Neatly and uber organized. I never could have done such a great job. On the other hand, he loses points because he packed my cork screw. Why would he do that?? When I asked him about it, for some odd reason he thought I was referring to my vibrator. Hmmmm.... I mean I guess I can see where the confusion set in. Maybe...

My 30th birthday is next week. Surprisingly it's seeming to bother me less and less as I get closer. It's really been weighing on me. The feeling is as old and cliche as it can get, you're too old to be young, too young to be old. Where do you fit in? I realize I am totally out of my element when I see teenagers with all their technology (Oh my God, listen to me!) I don't want to be a part of that.

Moving is helping a lot. Having a house of your own is a very grown up thing. What are the pre-requisites? I'm married, I have a kid, decent job... am I a grown up? When will I know? When Ryan is a little older and tells me I'm "such a dork".... much like Bob and I do to our mother, maybe it will set in. I hope I will always be cool to him... highly doubtful but I'd like to keep that dream alive for as long as I can.

Maybe thirty won't be so bad after all.