Monday, June 14, 2010

Bathroom Reading... Let's talk about that, shall we?


What started as commonly as doing laundry, I started reading Steven King's "The Stand". I started reading it in the bathroom. I know this because most books I start are in there, a lifelong habit started by my grandmother while potty training. I've moved on from my counting book and have since added quite a few classics to my repertoire of bathroom reading.

I have read entire books... in the bathroom. Not in one sitting, mind you. No pun intended. I read an average of five different books at a time. I keep one at work, one next to the bed, one in the living room, one in my purse... and one in the bathroom.

I started "The Stand" three months ago and have managed to digest over 400 pages of its beefy 1100 plus pages. I think I can finish it by the end of the summer at this pace. Not bad! Some people don't finish it in a year. I will have it read in half that time... in the bathroom!

Now, in my defense I am a pretty fast reader and, apparently, a lot faster than my colon. I don't know if I should be proud of these accomplishments, but in some weird (very weird) way, I am. Forget magazines and newspapers... small time. I'm on to novels.

My consummations aren't so widely received by those in my tight circle. It is a habit not understood by those nearest and dearest, yet, other than my husband, they all knew my grandmother was the same way... only she did 'circle a word' puzzles.

Other than just habit, I think a lot of it has to do with the privacy. I could go in the bathroom at any time and it was the one place I wouldn't be disturbed... until I had my son of course. Occasionally, you'd hear a voice on the other side of the door, wondering if I'd "fallen in". Most people answer "be right out." I finish that sentence "...after this chapter."

What's "gross" about it? I mean everybody poops. Why not have something to do while you're doing it. I mean really, if I don't have a book, I find myself looking for images in the tiles. You have to do something. Then there are those who say "I just go in and do what I have to do and get out." I say to that... well how nice for you to have the ability to take care of business in such a speedy manner. Others need some coaxing.

In conclusion, there was no need for me to share this, but a goal is a goal. I will finish Steven King's full unedited version of "The Stand" and I am going to do it all in the bathroom before summers end.