The Marlboro man has never looked so sexy...

So I quit smoking cigarettes... again. I need to stick to it this time but it's taking a toll on my overall attitude and usual sweetness. (Well maybe that was an exaggeration, I'm not all that sweet.)

I want one so bad. I want more coffee too, but I'd hate to have a repeat of yesterday. I woke up with chest pains. That can't be good.

I made another cup of coffee... we'll see how it goes.

It's not that I even smoke a lot. I never did. Depends on the day too. I could go a whole day without, it's the not having any that gets me. I'm like that with the Gange too. On a normal day I smoke like four cigarettes... FOUR! Dad says if he could have smoked the way I did he never would have quit... that's complimentary to the fact that I have will power right? Probably not, but if I justify it that way it makes me feel like my habit is more of an occasional method of stress release.

I quit for four years but started again a little over a year ago. Wow, I think that was actually the first time I admitted that I started again, habitually. I hate the way it makes me feel in the morning, I hate the hacking cough, mostly I hate listening to my mom telling me I stink. I hate the smell too, don't get me wrong. But, every once in a while when I take that step outside, away from everyone, by myself, I revel in those five little minutes. Stink and all. Could I go outside and just breathe the fresh air. Would I need a lollipop? Maybe at the new house I'll take up gardening or something. I've always wanted to. I can focus on that instead of stinky, expensive cigarettes.

Who am I kidding? Those five wonderful menthol minutes are fabulous. Fuck, I want a cigarette.

Caffeine Lows

I've had too many cups of coffee today. I feel like I'm tripping out... but not in the fun way... it's the "my insides are itchy and I have to rip them out" trip. Not cool. I am so high strung to begin with. Now I feel constantly 10 feet ahead of myself. Unfortunately it's actually fucking with my productivity and my A.D.D. is getting the better of me. Fuck!

Everything I listen to is fucking with me too. Poison was okay, but that was before the coffee kicked in. I have since tried Jerry Lee, Muse, Huey Lewis, Men at Work, Beyonce... I've seemed to settle on Katy Perry and I'm cool with it thus far. We'll see once I get to "Waking Up in Vegas" even Perry herself must be sick of that song by now.

I remember once I had a shitty trip and I tried to go to bed watching tv. Don't ever try to go to sleep to Labyrinth when you're tripping balls on liquid acid... *Shivers*

Celebrate... ME!

Today is Administrative Assistants Appreciation Day. I didn't get a card, flowers, no fan fare, not even an acknowledgment. I asked my dad why this is... "you have a job" he answered. Apparently that's recognition enough.

I cannot complain about my job. Not really anyway. I do, of course. Work sucks. I would much rather be shopping, laying on a beach, or just home watching tv right now. In todays economy, I am fortunate to have a job, and a really good one at that. I have a lot of benefits and based on the fact that I don't have my degree and I live in middle class suburbia, I make pretty decent money.

I do however, work for and with my parents. I see them every day... that can take it's toll. I don't take sick days. Even when I was pregnant! I just took my first personal day ever last week and ended up coming in later in the day and working saturday too, to make up for it. I can't call in sick and fake a cold. My boss is my mom, she knows all my tricks!

If I were to look for a job somewhere else, I wouldnt have the pay, the flexibility of making my shedule (I usually amble on in around 10:30 / 11am), the benefits, my hour long coffee breaks with Bob and forget karaoke! I mean, at every job you get moderate fuck off time, but I have mastered the art of making myself look incredibly busy, not to mention important! All due to the simple fact that I understand computers more than my parents. I am a major asset. I AM the IT department. Should I be happy that I just realized that I am even more of a nerd than I thought I was?

Fuck it, "I'm a nerd...and uh, I'm pretty proud if it."

Happy Administrative Assistants Appreciation Day. If you are appreciated today, good for you. I'm appreciated by default because it's just wrong not to appreciate your children. Another benefit of my job. Rock on!

I heart Justin Bieber...

I went home for 4:20... ;)

He reminds me of Gavin Degraw, awwww... sweet memories. I'm almost 30 and here I am at my desk smiling as I hum along to the prepubescent silken voice that IS Justin Bieber. Yum.... I mean, awww. I have to stop smoking my lunch, it's clouding my judgement.

Apparently though, I am not the only woman to feel this way. I am referring, of course, to the brilliant Tina Fey. That SNL skit was perfect.

Yay, I get to home soon. Wiiiiiiiiiiiii

Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?

Okay, so I'm a week behind, which is like years in pop culture. Glee is back and last weeks premiere was uber excellente! Tonight....oooh Madonna night, I'm getting chills already!! ;)

I'm a self professed Gleek... and damn proud of it. Since the April 15th deadline has come and gone and things have finally, kind sorta, gotten a bit slower, I was able to get a few much needed moments of Myspace Karaoke. I wasn't getting into it, like I usually do, but it was still fun nonetheless. It may have been Bob who put a damper on my fun when he knocked my go at Pat Benetars "Hit me with your best shot"... oh well. Can't win 'em all. He's a tough critic anyhow. Ass pirate.

So what else is new and exciting!? Hmmmm...well we are getting ready for the big move. It's still over a month away, but Tom has been really going at it. The entire attic is now packed and neatly organized into the garage. There is still lots to be done and if I can just stop shopping for the new place and get to packing, I think Tom and I may get back on track together. I know I have my period, but I could swear he has his too... at least it seems to be the end. Jesus! What a bitch!

We got a Wii. :) I've wanted one for a while but when I got an email last week letting me know that its now compatible with Netflix for streaming... I jumped all over that. I was going to buy another darling Roku anyway... now I can game too! It's a lot of fun. More so than I originally thought. I'm so old school, but the control at least looks some what like the original NES control. I was hoping to get some active play out of this. I really enjoyed the golf and bowling and after the first few days of having it I totally felt an ache in my muscles. However, I have since realized you can play without being all technical, ie standing. Even I have managed to turn something thats meant to get me off my ass into a couch sport. Fuck, I play better too. Golfing with an over hand swing goes much farther!

And a happy 4-20 to all the stoners. May the clouds part only long enough to find the lighter.

I'm a big fan of the talkies

In an earlier blog... I don't know if I will ever get over saying that word, blog. It sounds like vomit or an std. Appropriate actually, I'm spewing chunks of my boring little life and putting it out there like a cheap hooker. Ergo, the STD part.

Anyway... Earlier I brought up my love affair with Netflix but I failed to mention it's bodied companion, my beloved Roku. How life changed the moment I saw my own personal movie and TV library before my eyes and with the simple click of a button on my cute little Roku remote, I leave my livingroom along with my reality and go to my favorite places.

Roku, Roku, Roku, I even love the little "boop" you hear as your selections glide past you on the screen. Ah, If I could spend a week just completely left alone with nothing to do but watch TV and have Chinese Food it would make me so happy. I think if people actually could have a personal heaven, that would be mine. I guess my personal hell would be finally getting to sit down and watch tv only to find nothing works and I'm eternally waiting for my Chinese delivery. Balls!

Now, don't think that all I do is sit around and watch tv. It couldn't be farther from the truth. I don't watch anything until around 9pm when Ryan is asleep and Tom and I have had our dinner. It's MY time. No obligations, no one needs me for anything. I never was one to really 'go out'. I hate Clubs and the few times I did go didn't exactly leave me with the best of memories... not to mention a funny taste in my mouth.

I like to chill at my house, I like the comfort and familiarity of my surroundings. Even before the pot I've always led a more sedentary lifestyle. As a kid when I was demanded to go out and play I'd find a tree shaded area and read. I try to pretend like I want to be one of those outdoorsy types, but in reality, I'm not that girl. I hate bugs and too much sun. And camping or hiking?? Fugghetabouditt! Give me my tree and a book. Maybe a tall glass of lemonade and some cookies too! That's how I want to be outside.

My brother and I are very much alike that way. Our greatest childhood memories are those being at our grandparents house. Our terf, the family room, where we watched thousands of hours of tv, is a place we hold dear to our hearts. Woodstock '94 was there for us. We were 14 and 10. We couldn't go, but we camped out and watched the whole thing live on MTV.

If a particular movie comes up in conversation, and we watched it there, we know it. More times than not, these movies are more closely guarded, because we saw it there. Most of the movies that I consider my absolute faves were watched there, in multitudes! Revenge of the Nerds, Sixteen Candles, National Lampoons Vacation, Clueless, Just one of the Guys, the list goes on and on.

My love for television is something I have undoubtedly passed on to my son. Oh, glorious day, when he realizes there is so much more out there than SpongeBob Squarepants!

Random Thursday Nonsense

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I don't know if it was the fan making the blinds hit the wall, my thermal nightgown causing night sweats, or just worry in general. Probably a little of the three.

I just have this impending feeling of dread, like something bad is going to happen at any moment. Karma is ready to strike, part of me feels like I don't deserve to move into a beautiful house. I do though. Maybe I've been watching too much "My Name is Earl". I don't know.

Maybe it's because my craving for pretzels and chocolate are starting to surface.
That's probably it.

Our new landlord already cashed our security deposit. He sure didn't waste any time. He probably wanted to make sure we were good for it. Little does he know I had to borrow money from mamacita to pay it. We get a phatty refund this year. I'm spending it on stuff for the new house and throwing about 2K in the bank for savings. Vacation will be here before we know it and it will be harder to save after we move.

I cannot wait to move. It still seems so far away, I guess it's really not though. Only 6 weeks or so. We didn't even start packing yet. I reserved a U-Haul yesterday and got info from TWC about switching everything over. I thought about getting cable in our bedroom. I think I'd be better of with another Roku. I watched actual television for the first time in a while the other night. We have like 800 channels and of course, as I flipped to each channel, a commercial was on.

I did settle on "Celebrity Fit Club" followed with some "Sober House with Dr Drew". I was sucked in, don't get me wrong. I actually started to have a tiny bit of respect for Kevin Federline. I always root for the chubbies.
I have a weakness for reality television. I used to be a junkie. Getting that taste, made me yearn for some "Flavor of Love" or "The Real World". I'm old school.

We got a new HD Box for our HD TV at TWC yesterday. Wow, what a difference! I actually enjoyed watching a UFC fight last night. With high definition, you can really see the blood spray. Sweet right!?

I'm really into 'Dead Like Me' and the 'X Files' at the moment. I'm watching DLM for the second time around. It's such a great show. It's a shame it was only on two seasons. That movie they made afterwards to sort of tie up some loose ends was really a let down. So much could be done with the premise. Hey, I wonder if there are any DLM books. I should check that out.

I've only seen, I beleive 3 seasons of The X Files, all out of order. Aliens scare the bejesus out of me, but the idea is so intriguing. I want to know all I can about them but I really, really don't want to be abducted, probed, or tested. Please leave me be and find a po dunk white man out in Texas or something. Thanks!

I bought the first season after Christmas and low and behold the entire series is now available for streaming on Netflix. Do you hear angels?? Maybe little green men? I don't know, but it makes me happy.

Netflix is the greatest thing ever. The Roku beating it only by a little because I really need both. I swear Bob and I came up with this idea like twenty years ago, but whatever, someone materialized it. Kudos to them!! =]

I have no idea how this went from my night sweats to Netflix, but that's how I roll.

Spaghetti and Nuts

Tom doesn't like most pastas... To me it seems the Ronzoni people make one dough then place it in different machines to make the different types. Linguine, angel hair, rotini, penne, spaghetti, you name it. Like the play dough fun factory. He swears they taste different. I think he's nuts. Then again, I won't eat spiral mac 'n cheese.

Is it weird that I love chocolate and pretzels, but NOT chocolate covered pretzels? Every once in a while, every four weeks or so to be more specific, I get a Hershey bar (the big sucker) and a bowl of pretzels and just go to town, enjoying the way the chocolate is all soft and mushy then popping in a pretzel at just the right moment....ah perfection.